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Well, I finally did it. Parts of me feel horrible and guilty, and parts of me feel satisfied, elated, and just plain good again.
I said I would never ‘go there’ with him. God knows he’s given me the green light for more than a year now, and I just couldn’t do it. Paul is married, he’s my boss, and his wife, Cathy Steel, is a friend of mine. How weird is it that I couldn’t cheat on my own husband, even though we were having major problems, and yet I still contributed to adultery against my boss’s marriage?
I can’t say I did this on a whim. I knew full well what I was doing. Damn, it’s been so long since Jeff and I separated, and my self esteem has taken a beating these last few months since I moved out. Paul has been so good to me during all of this; supportive, letting me cry on his shoulder, listening and talking to me throughout the split. I guess I let that concern and care finally get to me.
Paul had been gone on business for almost a week. I’d had plenty of time to think through his standing invitation for no-strings sex while he was gone. Before he left last week, he walked up to me, wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me, telling me everything would be okay. He knew what I needed, and the door would always be open if I changed my mind. How is a woman supposed to resist THAT? Especially a wounded, lonely, and now very horny one?
I got up this morning, and took a shower. I shaved…everywhere…and used the Aloe and Green Clover body spray that he likes. He says it drives him nuts and makes his dick hard enough to cut diamonds with. I slipped into my best white lace panties and matching bra, under my usual jeans and a turquoise T-shirt. I didn’t really expect anything would happen today, but just in case something did, I wanted to be prepared.
I went in to work a little early, because things are always backed up when he’s been gone longer than 72 hours. I was sitting there at my desk when he came in, just like always. He was uncharacteristically early as well, considering how badly he doesn’t do mornings.
“Goooood morning,” he chirps, with a huge grin on his face. “How come you here so early?”
“Thought I’d get an early start, you know what it’s like your first day back,” I reminded him. “How was your trip?”
“Good, good.” He went into a few details that I really wasn’t listening to, because I was trying to figure out what I was going to say to him next.
He paused, sipped at his coffee, and looked at me, realizing I’d been pretty quiet during his story. “Everything okay with you?”
I took a deep breath and said “Yeah, I think so.”
“What’s on your mind?” He knows me too well, I think. “I’m waitin, tell me what’s goin on?”
“Okaaaaaaaaaaay.” I pause, take another breath, and turn my chair around to face him. “Remember when you told me before you left last week, that the door would always be open if I changed my mind?”
He looked at me for a moment, and took another sip from the cup. “Are we talking about the same door I opened last year? The one you said you wouldn’t ever walk through?”
No sense beating around the bush and playing dumb. Games are for kids, not adults. Might as well just go for it.
“Yes. That one.”
He kept looking at me; waiting, I suppose, for me to explain. After a year of fervent, if infrequent ‘not a chance in hell’ responses to his flirty come-ons, he wanted to know why I would suddenly reconsider.
“Have you changed your mind?”
Damn, it looked like he was almost holding his breath, waiting for the answer.
“Possibly,” I exhaled. “I’m sure that large quantities of alcohol would have to be involved, and I’m nervous and I have no idea how it would wind up, but I just….I can’t…I’m….I need to feel something again.” I looked down at the floor. This was harder than I thought it would be.
‘Okay,” he says softly. “But you realize that it can’t ever be anything more than sex, though. I’m happy at home, I’m not lookin’ to change things, and this has to be kept between the two of us. Is that all you want? You need to know upfront that’s all I can ever give you.”
“I’m not looking for anything but a quick scratch for the itch; make me feel better, and just needed and wanted for a little while. My heart is broken, my head’s not in any place to go any farther, and my self-esteem is in the toilet. The last thing I need is for anyone to find out, especially my kids.” I hated to admit it, but it wasn’t like he didn’t know everything.
He looks back at me, weighing my words. I’m sure my face must have reflected the turmoil and uncertainty I was feeling. I needed the connection and the emotional reassurance as much or more than I needed the sex.
“Alcohol won’t be involved. I want you to be awake and aware and fully conscious,” he said softly. I nodded, but still not sure I could go through with it cold-sober. The phone rang, and he answered it, while I turned back to the tickets I was entering in the computer. He talked for a couple of minutes ataşehir escort bayan and then hung up. I swiveled my chair back around when he hung up. He checked his watch, and then he stood up. He looked at me with a measuring look for what seemed like and eternity, then got up and partially closed the office door.
“Come here,” he said. Clearly, almost like an order, his normal tone of voice. I just looked at him like “whaaaaaat?” I must have said “huh?”, because he repeated it again, this time differently. He stepped closer, and held his hand out to me.
“Come. Here.” he whispered, as I put my hand into his. He pulled me up from my chair with a gentle tug on my hand, and drew me close to him, face to face. He continued to look into my eyes, taking my other hand into his, holding them both. There was nothing coy or teasing, the usual mating dance of two people trying to seduce each other wasn’t necessary.
He stepped closer and smiled, both of his hands now linking fingers with mine. He gave them a quick squeeze of reassurance, then let them go.. His fingers slid across my jaw, back to my ears, his thumbs brushing over my lips. His head lowered and slanted to mine as I instinctively moved in closer. He kissed me; a long, soft, slow, deep kiss that just kept going on and on. I remember my hands sliding up his chest, almost like I was resisting him, but I couldn’t. His tongue slid into my mouth, searching; so hot and sensual I melted. I remember moaning, and then my arm wound around his neck, my fingers sliding into his hair as the kiss took both of us somewhere else. I could feel his arms wrapping around me. One hand slid up my shoulder and caressed my neck while the other grazed my breast and ribs, and then rubbed urgently up and down my back as he pulled me closer.
After the first 5 seconds of pure shock and terror, I lost myself in that toe-tingling kiss. I stopped thinking, and only FELT for the first time in a long time. The twinge of guilt I felt for taking that step was powerless against the intense need for physical connection and release.
He finally stepped back just a bit, gently breaking off the kiss, as one hand stroked down the side of my face. “You think about that,” he whispered, his eyes searching mine. “I left my phone back at the house; I’ll be back in a few minutes. We aren’t done here.”
I guess I must have looked rather like a deer caught in the headlights, because I honestly cannot recall having been kissed like that in years; certainly not since right after Jeff and I got married 20 years ago. I heard him open the outside door to the shop, and speak to Frank and Harold about the radios they needed and I had them ready to go.
I remembered the radios were in the back seat of my car, but I cannot for the life of me remember what I said nor did the following 10 minutes. It was surreal; like I had stepped into some kind of fantasy scene from a cheesy romance novel
They left quickly, and the office was quiet enough for me to pull it together a bit before Paul returned. He came back in, and stood there at the door, with his back partly to it, partly facing me.
“C’mon back over here,” he said gently. “I have to be able to see if someone comes in.”
I got up and walked back over to him. His hands stroked softly up and down my arms, from fingertips to shoulders, watching me.
“Are you sure? Really, really sure you want this?”
I nodded, looked into his eyes, and replied, “I can’t remember the last time I ever wanted anything this much.”
He looked over my shoulder, out the office window, checking for stray people who might wander in, and then leaned in and kissed me again. No mistaking what he wanted.
“Cathy is gone to school this week, no one’s at the house. I want you right now,” he said quietly, the urgency in his voice telling me he didn’t intend to wait any longer.
“What about the shop?” I asked, clearly taken aback that he would just shut it down after having already been gone a week.
‘Put a sign on the door, ‘gone after parts’, ” he said to me. “We’ll go in my truck, pick up something from the house to bring back.”
I’d gone with him over to his house before on a number of occasions, so no one would think anything of it. I made the sign, he hung it, and we left.
We walked into the living room, and he took me in his arms, more kissing, touching, holding, and then he asked me, “Here, or the bedroom?”
Even in my current state of arousal, I couldn’t bring myself to do this in the bed he shared with Cathy, and I whispered, “Right here’s good.” We started undressing each other, and I have to admit I was a little self-conscious; not really wanting to expose my middle-aged body to his eyes, but all I could see in them was pure desire, passion, and a driving need in him that I hadn’t seen in a man’s eyes for me in years. I stood there before him, watching him undress me, and then naked, ready to have the first sex I’d had in months. His hands slid from my escort kadıköy face, down my neck to my shoulders, across and over my tits as he continued his devastating assault on my senses; his mouth and tongue rendering me putty in his hands. I remember him saying what incredible tits I had, as he softly squeezed, rubbed his thumbs back and forth over my nipples and then alternately sucked each of them deep into his mouth.
Finally one hand found its way down my hip, snaking over my belly to the top of my pussy. His fingers moved down further, parting my thighs. He gasped in surprised to find my swollen lips completely bare of pubic hair. I was drenched in my own juices, slick, hot and ready. I reached for him, and he was hard as a rock; I could actually feel it throbbing beneath my fingers as I stroked him with one hand, and cupped his balls in the other..
“Holy shit!!” he whispered. “I’ve never seen any woman so fucking wet this quick. I have to lick your pussy, Sherri.”
I sank down on the thick carpet, and he eased me onto my back, and knelt in front of me. My legs were still together, and bent at the knees, and I was shaking with a combination of nerves and arousal. He grinned at me then, and I smiled back, nerves letting up a bit. “I can’t believe this is happening,” we both said at exactly the same time and laughed.
“Yeah, but I’ve been waiting for this for nearly 20 years,” he admitted. “You’ve only been waiting about 20 minutes.”
‘A little longer than that,” I whispered. “But I’m ready now.” He winked at me and slowly spread my knees apart, pushing my thighs back towards my tits. Before I could gasp out loud, his face was buried in my pussy. Licking, sucking, kissing, all over, tasting and teasing, and driving me completely nuts. His fingers pulled my pussy open wide and his tongue circled my clit.
“You have the best tasting pussy I’ve ever eaten, woman; I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered hotly. His mouth again plastered to me, as he added fingers this time, stroking my slit and fingering me. His mouth closed over my clit once more, his tongue working it into a frenzy; bringing me so close to orgasm I couldn’t stand it. He knew exactly how close I was to slipping over the abyss, and then he stopped just before I got to the point of no return. I must have whimpered, because he laughed and said, “The first time, we’re gonna cum together, but I don’t think I’ll last very long,” he warned me. “I want to fuck you senseless.” He pulled away from me and started to get into position for that very thing, when I stopped him.
“Wait a second, it’s my turn first,” I finally said. I pulled myself up and at the same time pushed him back, and took his dick in my mouth, licking and sucking almost all of it into my eager mouth. Good thing he’s not that big, I can do a helluva blow job on a shorter cock. I heard him moan, and then, “Son of a BITCH that feels good,” he groaned raggedly, as his hands twined into my hair and urged me to take him deeper. He rocked his hips into my face, almost burying the full length of his cock in my throat.
I didn’t get a dozen strokes into it, before he pulled away. “I don’t know where you learned how to suck cock like that, but if you keep it up, I’m gonna blow this big time,” he warned me again. “I want to cum inside you, feel your tight pussy squeezing my dick when you cum.”
“Then bring it,” I said invitingly. “I’m ready when you are.”
He pushed me back again, and then gripped that eager cock in one hand, rubbing it up and down my soaking slit to coat it with my slick juice before he slowly entered me for the first time. God, it felt so good. I heard him inhale sharply once and hold his breath for a moment as he held perfectly still, and then exhale with a sigh. “Next time I won’t be in such a rush.”
“You better hurry, or this plane is taking off without you,” I teased him softly. “I’m so close; I need you to fuck me; want you to make me cum now.”
“I know, Sherri, wait for me, I want to fuck your slick hot pussy, make you cum so hard you’ll never forget it.” He slid out just a bit and then began to fuck me like a bitch in heat. Just about the time I was about to explode, he stopped for a moment , and his mouth covered mine, with a kiss so deep and hard I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. “Ready, babe?” he whispered, as he pulled back once more, and then started the last few strokes. I nodded, and he continued to drive into me, I cried out “Yes, yes, oh my god, yes.” I beat him to a mind-bending orgasm by about four strokes, milking his dick dry as he pounded me into the floor. He groaned out loud, almost a yell, and then collapsed on top of me, both of us breathing fast and hard. He finally lifted up on one arm, taking some of his weight off me. He looked into my eyes, smoothed the hair out of my face, and grinned a huge self-satisfied grin.
“Was it all you thought it would be?” I asked. Dunno why I felt the need to ask him that, it was obvious he’d enjoyed it thoroughly.
“I bostancı escort fantasized about it….a lot”, he admitted. “But I have to say I never thought in a thousand years it would be THAT good. I was right though. I always knew you’d be one hot fuck, but I had no idea you’d be the hottest fuck I’ve ever had.”
“Lie to me some more, Mr. Steel,” I laughed at him. “I love it when you lie to me, make me feel like a million bucks.” He looked at me squarely. “I’m not ever going to lie to you, Sherri. I’d like to fuck you ten times a day, but I love Cathy, and this changes nothing. If it gets in the way, it has to stop.”
“Paul, I know waaaaay too much about you, watched you throw too many fits, and I’ve worked for you too long. We might be good in the sack together, but on a daily basis, we would wind up killing each other. No worries on my end, at all, ever.” I smiled again, pushed him off me for emphasis, and got up to find my clothes.
“Okay, as long as we know it’s just fuck-buddies, right?” he queried me? “Nothing more.”
“Friends with benefits,” I assured him. “You DO still want to be friends?” ‘Oh, hell yeah, that goes without saying,” he smiled. “That won’t ever change, I hope.”
“Me, too,” I said, all my nervousness now gone. My body was sated, my ego stroked and fed and content for a little while, and my self-esteem given a badly needed boost, I was ready to be me again, instead of a needy, uncertain, insecure little wounded bird.
We started cleaning up and dressing, and I fully confessed what I had been thinking about him for years.
“You know, all the time you were thinking about what a great fuck I was…I gotta tell you, Paul, from all outward appearances, you don’t look like a fuck machine,” I admitted to him.
“Really?” he said, almost sarcastically.
“Looks are deceiving, I guess,” I said flippantly. “I thought you probably couldn’t fuck your way out of a paper bag. Guess I was wrong.”
“Oh yeah?” he pushed at me playfully. “Well, can’t judge a book by the cover sometimes; how else would you know unless you tried it? Truth is, I learned early on, not packing the big bat, that if I learned how to take care of a woman first, then I would be ahead of the game, and it wouldn’t matter so much.” He grinned ruefully.
“Apparently that approach paid off in spades,” I said. Denying his statement about lack of size wasn’t my style. “It fits just fine, FYI. And I’ll try almost anything once, twice if I like it, more if it really does the trick.”
“Soooooo…did you like it, or did it do the trick?” He winked at me, grinning.
“I think it did the trick, but I’ll have to see how I feel in a few hours,” I said, honestly trying to convey the idea that I still wasn’t sure I could do this on a regular basis.
“Okay, ball’s in your court,” he said. “Door’s open for you most anytime.” He pulled me to him before we walked out the back door, and kissed me once more. “Almost anytime, just call, I’ll be there.”
“Thanks, Paul, this made my day. Hell, maybe my week, month and year, probably.”
‘Mine too,” he said “You’re a mindblower, Sherri, that’s for damn sure. Jeff’s an idiot for letting you go.”
“I really needed to hear that, whether or not it’s the truth,” I said honestly. “I’ve got to find some way to get over this and move on with my life. The better I feel about myself, the easier it will be, methinks,” I confided.
“Well, I’m not just saying that,” he said, turning me back to look in his eyes. “I don’t ever say what I don’t mean, and I mean every word I say. I’ll talk to you anyway you want, but I’m never going to say ‘I love you’, or anything like that when we are together. It has to be honest and no strings, always.”
“Got it,” I said. “But if I’m the hottest fuck you’ve ever had, you need to get out more,” I laughed.
“I’ve been around more blocks than you’ve ever been, Sherri. Sexy and hot and fuckable is not always about looks; when are you gonna figger that out?”
“Dunno,” I said. “I lost my self confidence about 30 pounds ago, and I still can’t figure out why you want me.”
He shook his head, the way he does when a particularly stupid customer comes into the shop. “How long have we known each other?” he asked me again.
“Bout 20 years,” I reminded him.
“I knew you when you and Jeff were first together, and you were a little hottie, I’ll give you that,” he said. “But all these years, you’ve been putting on a little weight and getting older, hair’s getting a little grey and stuff’s movin’ south on you; just like on me, just like on Jeff. But the more I got to know you, and all the little flirty shit we do, and the sexual innuendos, it just made you hotter to me than it did even when you were still young and little and cute. It’s YOU that makes you hot and sexy, Sherri, not just how you look. Although”, he smiled devilishly, “I do love your tits. And you have the most lickable pussy I’ve ever stuck my tongue in. I had no idea you shaved the good parts; that is fucking HOT, girl.”
“Thanks, I needed that, and maybe one day, I’ll buy it,” I said. “You’ve made me feel spectacular, in more ways than one.”
“My pleasure. Wanna do it again?” His wicked grin bespoke of promises that it would only get better.
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