Worth Risking It All – Shane , Fi13 Ocak 2022
Staring down at my feet, shielding my face from the heavy rain thundering on the fur hood of my coat covering me, yet not nearly enough from the wild weather here in Ireland, I power through the dark wet leaves on cobbled footpaths focused on the music that filled my mind. Hands in pockets, earphones in barely visible from the scarf around my neck preventing chills from trailing down my spine.
Suddenly, a car speeds by with such force next to me as the streetlamps cascade just enough light to see maybe two feet in front of me in the almost pitch darkness of the evening. I gasp in shock as if someone had deliberately thrown a bucket of ice over me, no it was simply that a passing car crashed through a deep puddle that I so happened to be right next to. “Damn these narrow roads, what is he going to think of me turning up wet through?”
I make a few failed attempts at squeezing out some of the water that’s drenched my left side facing the road and that’s when I realise my leggings, shoes and socks are soaked as well. I’m more worried about my wheelchair, water and electrics don’t mix as I’ve discovered a few times in the past. As I continued to gravitate straight ahead along the narrow footpath with naked winter trees wafting furiously as the wind picked up, I knew I had to make a decision. Turn back home and text my best friend to say I’m not coming, making up some story how I’m not well or something to that effect, which I would feel incredibly guilty about for days as I hate lying or turn up at his front door, piss wet through and feeling like an absolute prat in front of a guy I really, really like! A guy that gives me butterflies just with words on a screen, weak at the knees when he puts on his charm and has me laughing so hard it makes me wonder whether I actually, ever truly laughed before because he raises the bar that high. My mind wonders to past conversations and times spent together and it makes me smile, reminiscing taking my mind completely off how cold I was and partially numb where the water seeped through to my skin.
My phone pinged and I knew it was him. I desperately wanted to check but I didn’t want to test how waterproof my android apparently was by pulling it out in this wicked weather. That’s when it dawned on me that I hadn’t actually made a decision… Now it was too late, I’d totally zoned out and here I was now in front of his house. “Shit!.. Shit! Shit!” I couldn’t see any lights on so there was still a chance I could turn around and pretend I didn’t make it. I didn’t want Shane to see me a mess, but at the same time I’d been looking forward to movie night with him all week long.
And just like that the decision was made for me…
The front door of the quaint little cottage swung open without any warning and because I’d stupidly still had my earphones in I hadn’t been paying attention to sounds inside the house that would of given me some indication I was close to having a door collide with my face.
“What on earth are yeh doing out here? Get in it’s pissing it down!” came a voice from the tall dark Shane shaped silhouette with the hall light surrounding him from the now wide-open door.
I immediately yanked my earphones out, put my hood down and smiled shyly at him, caught his gaze, having to look away quickly before I fall… pretending to brush down the sopping wet coat that weighed a ton hanging from my body.
“Sorry I’m late, it’s a bit wet out here,” I grin with sarcasm. He took my hand and pulled me into his house and closed the door behind me, being sure to lock it.
Conscious of not tracking wet wheels all over Shane’s house, I roll back and forth several times on the large door mat, like a non-disabled person would do with their feet upon entering. The heating was on to my relief, as that’d help dry them also.
I lean down immediately to stroke Freddie who had come rushing to see who had arrived at his house this late. I fussed him, scratching behind his ears and rubbed his back as he spun around and zigzagged with excitement.
“Okay, c’mon enough with the dog you’ll get him all riled up and he won’t let us watch the film…”
“Haha. Alright… Where should I put my coat?” I muster sheepishly.
He looked me up and down, “looks like you need to take more than yeh coat off dear by the looks of yeh…”
“Cheeky…” I caught his eye and he grinned back at me the way he always does when there’s an opportunity to turn something innocent into something a bit more. I whipped my coat off slowly and handed it to Shane while I yanked on my leggings to pull each foot up within reach to continue to remove my shoes and socks, carefully placing my socks inside my shoes and tucking them under the hall radiator, feeling the warmth of it as I did so. It felt so good after being out in the wind and rain.
Shane tucked my coat on the same radiator and was looking at me inquisitively. I was confused. Had I missed something?
“Ha, what is it?” I laugh awkwardly.
“You ankara iri göğüsleri olan escortlar er… should take those leggings off before yeh catch a cold yeh know…” he reached his hand behind his neck slightly uncomfortable but obviously wanting to come across caring.
“I haven’t brought any change of clothes, I kind of wasn’t expecting to swim here the forecast said partly cloudy skies tonight not gail force winds and torrential rain!” I tried to make light though I was somewhat embarrassed.
“I know!… Be right back,” Shane said before he took off like a shot, leaving me sat in the hall in bare feet.
Then I heard a distant shout, “come in the living room, I’ve got yeh something…”
I made my way slowly through to the living room where I saw Shane had already set up a blanket on the sofa and snacks on the coffee table. My heart swelled with how much thought he’d put in and cosey it felt from the first glance. Our chosen film paused at the beginning on his TV. A lamp was on in the corner, the main light off. For some reason, I suddenly felt at home. My mind wondered to how much time he must have put aside to set the scene, just for a film night, but gosh did I want to just squeeze him tight and kiss his cheek in appreciation because he’s amazing at stuff like this.
Shane handed me a folded up garment, “here slip into this, there’s a towel in the bathroom to dry yeh legs and then all will be grand.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” I said meeting his gaze and trying not too long or risk falling into the danger zone. So I moved then, making my way to the bathroom to sort myself out.
Once in the bathroom, I stripped my leggings off and wrung them out in the sink before placing it in my black mini leather backpack I carried everywhere with me. Finding the towel hanging on the rail next and drying my legs from the thighs down.
Next, I unfolded what Shane had provided for me and it was then I realised it was just a long baggy t-shirt. The sort of thing I sleep in at night. Did he know that? Or was this merely all he could muster up in this situation? I decided I was reading too much into why and whipped off my top… leaving my black lace bra and knickers beneath. I wouldn’t usually wear a bra with this sort of thing but I wasn’t at mine. I was with this guy, this amazing guy. I needed that barrier in case he got too close my breasts are quick to react to brushing of clothing or accidental nudges, it doesn’t take a lot to unintentionally make my nipples erect. Pulling the t-shirt over my head and letting it flow down, it smelled like him and God did it ignite that familiar delicious ache in my lower belly. It came to just above mid-thigh. I tried to yank it down more, being rather modest but it wouldn’t give any more coverage. I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and immediately I thought I looked like something out a rom-com. After a passionate love making session where the girl grabs the guys shirt and wears it the morning after. My long brunette hair, flowing over my shoulders somewhat dishevelled through being weather beaten despite the hood of my coat, some parts were wet so I used the towel to take out some moisture.
“What are yeh doing in there? C’mon let’s watch the film, or else we ain’t getting much sleep tonight.” Another intriguing innuendo to add to the list. He’s always so quick and gets your thoughts all muddled.
Opening the bathroom door I slipped through quietly and through to the dimly lit living room where Shane sat on the sofa fiddling with the T.V remote. I was shivery and was suddenly washed away with dirty thoughts of Shane warming me up. He looked up and towards me, there was an awkward pause where I felt rather exposed. Wanting to shy away in a knee-jerk reaction but at the same time curious as to what would happen if I simply went with it.
I need to gather myself and stay cool, I told myself.
I inched forwards and next to the sofa where he sat. Shane scooted over more to give me room and shifted the coffee table some so I could get as close to the sofa as need be for a quick transfer. I came level with the sofa, lifted the opposite armrest of the wheelchair controls, braced one arm on the armrest of my chair and the other fist with a straight arm into the firm sofa to provide stability as I moved across. I’m really aware that the t-shirt is riding up more as I inch myself onto the sofa but with no hands left, there wasn’t much to do about it other than blush. Shane watches this manoeuvre curiously and with concern on his face. I know he sees my arms are shaking due to weakness so I smile at him trying to be reassuring. This is my normal, and he’s still getting used to it.
Finally on the sofa, Shane grabs the controller and drives my wheelchair back out the way of us, sits back down next to me and scoots the coffee table back into position.
“That’s better,” he says now that the tedious part was over.
I elvankent götü büyük escortlar bring my knees up to my chest because my bare legs dangling puts strain on them. My feet didn’t reach the floor, an issue I have quite a bit with being a short arse. I follow this up by just laying them bent comfortably sideways up on the sofa. Grabbing a firm sofa cushion and propping it between us and resting my elbow on it so I could relax.
“I can’t wait to watch this, haven’t seen it in ages. Probably years now I think of it….” I ramble.
Shane leans over me to turn the lamp off next to us and slightly grazes against me in doing so. Thank god for the bra…
I feel his breath cross my cheek on the way back to where he sat as he cleared his throat and said… “yeh it should be grand. It’s a long film though remember so get comfortable. No breaks, it’ll spoil it if anyone of us ends up needing to pause it for the bathroom etc… So say now or forever hold your peace Fifi…”
I laughed, “I’m fine, go ahead.”
The film rolls and I’m enjoying the cinema style focus that blocks out the world, forcing you to be all-consumed by the storyline and characters. Every so often one of us shifts position and reaches for a drink or a snack. My mind does however wander, my heart urging me to just throw caution to the wind and grab his hand. Let the cards fall where they may, it’s now or never scenario. But something is stopping me. Gripping fear that a beautiful friendship could be ruined or at the least tainted forever if I made a move and Shane didn’t actually have feelings for me. The embarrassment of that saga made me shift awkwardly and I was suddenly really aware how far up my thighs this frigging t-shirt had rid up in half an hour. I’m discreetly yanking it down for the umpteenth time…
Eyes engrossed in two characters building bonds on screen, suddenly Shane puts his hand on my bare knee and quickly grabs my hand before I pull away.
I gasp in surprise; the TV is rather loud and it’s adding to the confusion and muddled feelings of what is actually happening. I turn my head sharply and search his face for an answer.
He leans close and his hot breath near my ear tells me, “you’re okay, relax.”
My heart did this backflip and suddenly I didn’t care about covering myself, his reassurance was all I needed.
I expected him to let go, move back to his side of the sofa, but he didn’t. In fact, he had slid right up next to me, swapped hands so his left was holding mine, rubbing my palm in such a loving way, it was quite possibly the sweetest sensation, I could never explain if I tried. He put his arm up and over, making fake stretch and yawn sounds and wrapped his right arm around me until it fell on my shoulder.
Looking up at him with a grin I had to tell him, “very smooth!” with a wicked laugh. A bit of a tease but really, I found his embrace overwhelmingly warm. I just didn’t want Shane to know that — yet.
You’d think I’d know by now how this story goes. It’s so predictable, but completely spontaneous at the same time, every time our paths cross. Yet here I was, totally oblivious to the fact I was not in control of this, nor what was about to happen next.
“You like that then?” he’s found his voice and his confidence. He caught me, and it’d be such a shame if I did the coy thing and looked away now. I’d forever kick myself if I let us lose this moment that had so much potential. It’d be criminal in fact.
So instead, I matched him with boldness, looking him dead in the eye with a twinkle to add to the grin. One of those segments of inner magic you channel into your gaze, in hopes that twinkle does actually exist and isn’t just imaginary, because I needed Shane to feel my energy. To feel me.
“I do, you could teach a lot of guys a thing or two about the art of seduction,” I planted a seed and looked away then as if it were a throw away comment but seriously hoping that last word radiated in his mind like wildfire.
The tables turned as quick as my boldness, Shane suddenly shifted and in one swift movement untangled himself from around my shoulder and grabbed firmly, yet carefully around my bare knees and yanked. This caused me to gasp and lose my balance. He quickly unfolded my legs to across his lap and caught me around my waist to break my unsteadiness and without realising in my tumble I’d grabbed onto his arm.
“Sorry,” Shane said sheepishly. “That was a lot sexier in my head…”
I laughed and our eyes met, despite his embarrassment. Luckily my own had fleeted so at least in this timid tug of war were complimenting each other’s shyness.
“Still super sexy…” With that trailing comment my hand raised and cupped Shane’s cheek. Stroked it reassuringly and I simply smiled into his gorgeous green eyes.
We sat there, quiet with the world going on around us yet totally oblivious. The only two things that mattered was us and this etimesgut çıtır escortlar moment and the moments that were to follow like a chain reaction.
I became intrigued by his lips and how perfect they were. I couldn’t help myself and soon my thumb brushed over them, my gaze entranced as I traced Shane’s lower lip. It quivered beneath my touch and when I looked up, suddenly aware of what I was doing he was increasingly closer than he had been moments before.
Shane took my hand from his face and our fingers entwined, he didn’t let it go as he grinned and he yanked me closer still until I was practically sat on his lap sideways.
“Can I….?” his words escaped and trailed into the air as he leaned down slightly and in.
“Can you… what?” I respond with innocence; it was impossible not to know.
For a moment I forgot how to breathe, my bravado had running off into the distance. But it didn’t matter, I was too lost to fret about it. Shane inched closer and closer, we both closed our eyes seconds away and I was very aware of his breath on my cheek, then on my lips before I met them with my own without thinking. There was no more space for thinking.
Shane’s lips were gentle, but his need was plain to see. I could tell by the way he wanted more and more. Gentle, passionate tugs of blood-filled lips turned into desperate plunges of passionate lust and longing. Then back again, we’d cycle over and over. We found a rhythm. Our entwined fingers thumbed each other’s in raised palms in the air doing their own dance. I was caught somewhere between being lost, never wanting to be found and on the verge of begging him not to stop or I feared I’d die then and there. It was that powerful… He was that powerful!
With this playing out like the film before us, I untangled my hand from his grip at his protest as we hungrily but respectively feasted on each other’s parted mouths, I placed that hand on Shane’s chest over his heart and that’s when I felt it slamming against it. He kissed harder at this awareness and I met him equally as eager as his passion spoke to me.
I got so swept away, my lower belly ached, and I unconsciously arched my back a little up into my best friend more. A soft moan escaped my lips and I was a little embarrassed. It was then I realised I wasn’t the only one becoming aroused. Beneath my left thigh Shane’s excitement was trapped in his navy pyjama pants waiting to be released.
Concerned the weight of my legs may be constricting him further and cause discomfort I shifted my weight. My lips didn’t leave Shane’s, but as I tried to give his growing passion some room to develop further as I dared it would, Shane stopped me there, kept me close and into him. Once I got the message I wasn’t to wonder, his flat palm caressed my thighs which were rather exposed with the hitched up baggy t-shirt. I was pretty sure my lace underwear was somewhat visible at this point.
Shane’s fingertips left a burning trail up my thigh as he teased. That’s when he grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt and began to pull it up. I took his lead, grabbed the bottom of his own top and we both got humorously tangled in trying to undress each other.
With Shane’s top stuck on his nose on the way up, tangled by each other’s arms trying to do a swift strip and reveal that wasn’t going all that well. We both fell about laughing. I kissed him affectionately through laughter as his nose and eyes were still covered by the fabric.
“God, this is not going to plan at all,” Shane said as I finally restored his vision and threw his top to the floor.
“Go with it, don’t think!” I reassure wondering if he gets the film reference…
He smiled through his eyes then and resumed pulling my t-shirt up and off my head. As it left my body, that stupid reflex to cover my breasts made me curse myself. How can you want someone so much, yet insecurities still get in the way?
I was more than this, and I was determined to show Shane I could overcome this sort of thing with the right person. With him… Why with him? I could never explain. There’s something about Shane that makes me feel safe and accepted. Two words, such an impact…
Shane grabbed the blanket next to us and wrapped it around my shoulders, shifted out from underneath me.
“Hang tight a sec…” he said softly as he walked across the room. I watched him inquisitively.
Aside the television stand where the film continued to play to a distracted audience, he knelt down and lit the fireplace. “There, that should keep us warm.”
Shane seemed on a mission, and I loved how he keeps me guessing, all the time. He walks on his knees to the coffee table in front of me and hauls it across the way to reveal the large traditional patterned rug beneath of dark red and green swirls and flowers, bordered with tassels.
This was cosey, sensual and exciting all at once. I thought then as I took everything in, that I knew what his mission was…
As I clumsily got my legs back dangling from the sofa rather than sitting sideways, wrapped in the blanket in nothing but my black lace bra and panties, Shane had risen from the floor with an umph. God I loved taking him in, his bare chest with flickers of fireplace light across his pale skin. He looked so god damn hot right now.